Long before all the fancy social networking sites and contact-sharing tools we use today, the old-fashioned encounter between two people was more like tripping over each other than a refined, planned approach. Recently I happened to see someone in a group setting and was troubled that although I knew this person, I couldn’t place where I had met them before.
I approached the woman and said, “You look very familiar, where do I know you from?” She didn’t know. So I proceeded with a few places we could have met – neighborhood, church, children’s school, etc. In the end, we couldn’t make the connection. Oh, well, maybe it will come to me later.
Thinking about this for a moment, I began to wonder why I don’t see this interaction in public as much as I used to. I reflected on my days in a sales territory where this was quite commonplace; from the casual encounter in a restaurant, the airport, a store, or at a larger group setting like a conference or event, you would overhear this opening dialogue from people, trying to become reacquainted with each other.
Early in my career, I can remember the uncomfortable feeling of not wanting to approach someone for fear I would embarrass myself, or them, with rapid-fire questions, trying for something to hit home in either one of our minds. As time went on, and after a job transfer to California, a customer of mine helped me overcome this reservation of mine.
We used to enjoy lunch at a small diner called Bette's Oceanview Diner, in Berkeley, CA. Man, I loved this place. It was small and on the noisy side, not to mention crowded at most any hour – but certainly worth the wait. We would be talking outside waiting for a table. Since his business was located nearby, it was not unusual for someone to come up and begin talking to us. But, if he happened to recognize someone and could not remember who they were, he would go up to them and say, “I don’t remember your name, or where we have met before. Who are you?”
The first time this happened, I thought the approach a bit rough and discourteous. But, when I saw the other person’s positive reaction, I decided that maybe he was on to something. There was no need to waste either person’s time in polite chitchat hoping to trigger your memory. Over time, I refined my own approach by offering possibilities of a location, or people in common, similar to the example at the beginning of this Post.
But this recent experience has got me wondering. Are people more reluctant to approach each other in-person when it’s not intended to be a “social networking event”? I haven’t changed my approach, but it sure seems like others are more reserved; even more so when approached by someone they see as a stranger. Is it just me; or have we reached a point of hiding behind screens tossing out endless digital requests, that we have lost the fine art of getting to know each other, and renew an old acquaintance.






